Ok, ladies and gents. Listening to this video spurred …a revelation within me. It invoked a new analysis of my principles, criticizing past thoughts I never thought to lay under a microscope. Since my undergrad years, I attempted to …demonstrate the principals I stand fast by, the same principals that are the building blocks of my citadel, simultaneously protecting and explaining the reasons behind some of my actions. I try to scream through my actions such things as “Carpe Diem”, “Live, and Feel Alive”, and most of all “No Regrets”. More recently, I think I’ve acquired another motto “I’m gonna die one day so… “. That motto, which is usually the reasoning part of a sentence I’m moments from completing, is under my scrutiny as a result of listening to this song. This is my observation and deduction. (play the song if you haven’t started it yet.)
I’ve always said that I’m not afraid of death, but I’ve never really elaborated and explained thoroughly. This is partly because I didn’t fully understand why, even though I thought otherwise in the past. I could be technical and ask “can you really experience Death?” You experience the act of dying, but not the act of being dead. Death awaits us all, and it is nothing but inevitable. So no need to be afraid of a phenomenon you cannot experience first hand. However, you can experience the act of dying, but I am neither afraid of dying, at least in the literal sense. I, Oyindamola Oluwatimi, am afraid of the inability to experience. I am frightened at the thought of expired time and losing the capacity to participate and expose myself to the endless wonders on earth. Some would say that that is a circumvented definition of death,… mmmhh maybe. In my perspective, being frightened and experiencing those things is worst than death; it is “dying” because after all, you can’t experience the former, but you can in the latter. Dying is the inability to feel the sensations of the events that occur internally and externally. The inability to observe the few good things left on this earth, and continuing to feel the battle of good and evil residing in the soul. Most of all, dying is …is being afraid of gaining those inabilities.
Sometimes, our fears prevents us from action, and yet it also propels us to “do.” I act because I fear inaction. As I am learning about myself as I am writing this, I am thinking to myself “Let Yourself Feel”. Let yourself feel the fear for it may drive you to Live, and Feel Alive, at least while you can.
Ljósið by Esteban Diácono
P.S. Just another day in the life of me 🙂
P.S.S Heading to Asia for the summer. First stop: South Korea!